Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
