Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize