I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
