PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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