if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
