nut hugger
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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