THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
