i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize