I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
