Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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