Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
