That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
