Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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