happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
