We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize