don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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