Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize