Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
