so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
