I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
