he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
