My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
