Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the day after is always just damage control
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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