Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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