well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize