I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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