too bad you live with your parents still
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
