my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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