You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
