i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
