i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize