So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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