i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
