this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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