Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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