Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize