Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
