Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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