they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
