"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
