we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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