oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk is a universal language darling
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