im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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