We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize