how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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