I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
