I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
