He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it glows. i had to have it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
