Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
