Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
