That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need moral support for this bender
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
