I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
