And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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