I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
