someone threw a dead crab at me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
