i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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