Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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