TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can't talk, ducks in the car
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
