I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
