I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
