I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
