beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
