So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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