normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
