I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
