yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize