On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
