the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
