I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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